I was devastated when my wonderful Mum passed away. I couldn’t chat to her on the phone every night as I had done for so long, couldn’t meet her for a coffee and muffin at her favourite café, but most of all I couldn’t give her a hug and say “love you Mum”.

She had told us that because her star sign was Pisces she wanted her ashes scattered on Loch Lomond, we laughed and said “but Mum you can’t swim”.

My sister and I kept a small amount each of her ashes and we bought a little pot from the visitor shop at Luss. But she just sat there, in the pot and I couldn’t do anything with them.

My Mum was very spiritual in nature, she loved anything to do with Angels and said that’s why I was called Angela, because I was her Angel. I’ve since discovered that Angela means “Messenger”.

She regularly wore two little Angel pin badges which I have now and they also just sat there looking at me, along with her watch that she wore every day. Objects which mean so much, but apart from picking them up occasionally there was not much I could do with them.

One rainy Saturday afternoon, I found myself at home alone and after endlessly scrolling for something to watch I happened upon an old documentary about Angels. And it was while watching this that I suddenly could see very clearly what I needed to do. It truly was a vision and I believe a gift from my Mum.

So, I started to bring her gift to life and literally, give it wings.

You see, my Mum gave me everything in that vision, every detail was laid out before me along with the inspiration for the poem and all the wording. I could see it all so clearly in my mind, but more importantly, I could feel it in my heart. I knew from the start that every aspect had to be beautiful, because I realised from my own experience of grief, that only beauty and love shine through on those darkest of days.

I discovered something very important on this journey, that my gorgeous little teddy bear with beautiful Angel wings, was able to bring me much needed physical comfort. I put a small amount of Mum’s ashes into the little golden pouch and I put this along with her watch and her two Angel pins into the little heart tin. The heart tin then nestled behind my bear’s golden heart and suddenly I could once again get a hug and say LOVE YOU MUM, feeling her close to me, like we were heart to heart, with her wonderful smile reflected in the smile of this little bear. The lovely box lets me keep the other precious items I have safe.

My Mum was caring and compassionate and this is her gift to those who are suffering with the loss of a loved one. She is an Angel among Angels now…and me…I’m just the Messenger.

That’s how Forever in a Bear was born. From a vision, from love, from grief.